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Bears

November 5, 2009

Bears 1
Bears 2

I had an idea last Christmas for a story involving bears, and this is what happened a few days ago. I really like it, but did you know: this carry on is so time consuming as to be Completely impractical? I planned out the opening five pages using literal thumbnails in two minutes, but this, it would seem, is different. Gods know how many more pages there could be, let alone how long it will take me.

As a great man once said, “Yes, this should be enriching for all of us.”

Also, my mother loves it, but says the unnecessary swearing has ruined it for her.

Finally, I still havent figured out what to do about the whole width thing (the pictures above are inscrutable because they’ve to fit the blog). The gallery here at the bottom has the full versions, and you can zoom in and about on those if you …care.

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Toothbrushes

November 1, 2009

new

I’ve always enjoyed brushing my teeth, although I’m not particularly sure why. If I’m bored, or cleaning my room, I’ll often brush my teeth to occupy my hands, or simply to ensure that it actually gets done at some point. It’s not that I’m particularly obsessed with oral hygiene, and I’m often too lazy to go to the sink that’s in my room to brush them at night; it’s simply developed into a symptom of pottering.

medium

This has two important effects (discounting hygiene, my technique is sloppy); I tend to spend long periods brushing my teeth, wandering around the house, arms crossed. If I’m unlucky, my gums bleed a little, and I spit pink foam. I love that too though, secretly. The bristles bend outwards like dying grass – I really hate that. I devise new ballistic methods of delivering the froth to the plug hole.

old

The second effect is that I will usually brush my teeth until my mouth can no longer contain the froth, and by this time I am elsewhere in the house. I deposit the froth in the nearest sink, and run for the train, or similar. My toothbrush rarely makes it back to the sink, and will usually disappear. The following night, day, or tooth occasion, what do I do? Well, sometimes I search for the offending item, or sometimes, well, maybe sometimes I settle for any old toothbrush. I don’t mean “any toothbrush”, I mean any old disused toothbrush, lying embalmed in that white fluoridated residue, in any nearby room. Sometimes, I realise it’s a cleaning toothbrush but by then the Colgate is already on, so it’s too late.

finger

I think it’s okay to do this sort of thing.

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Oceantimes

October 21, 2009

This one is special in that it’s a collaboration between myself and a very lovely lady who is, moreover, an amazing artist, and I think she finishes it perfectly. I don’t think I’ve ever finished a strip before; it’s nice to see what that looks like.

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No through road

September 24, 2009

Went for another walk.

I walked townward from Coolbawn, taking my time. Historically, this was one of the richer portions of the city, being on the southern side, and near the river. Historical wealth means old limestone walls obscuring fine but neglected houses, but more importantly it means an abundance of trees and huge plots of overgrowth. Meanwhile, dockborne industry had crawled out of the sullen Lee, and had eventually amounted to the same thing: flats of concrete growing moss, fringed with marsh. The two zones should be at odds, but the the shared overgrowth makes the transition inconspicuous.

leaves

leaves

I’d always loved the docklands for this reason: the stacks and warehouses have turned inoffensive in their dilapidated old age, skirted with trees and held in by the old quay. From the train tracks across the river, it seems a serene example of urban decay tempered by victorian foresight (the trees, its mainly the trees.). I thought the warehouses had been largely abandoned, and fancied exploring the vacant lots, silent pieces of an older city. I thought about that quite a lot.

Picture 2

dilapidated

dilapidated

I never imagined there would be such a volume of traffic passing down here, showing up my ignorance. The Marina is some sort of forgotten organ. Despite the tired weeping concrete and dilapidation, there are cars everywhere; articulated lorries thrum past me with care, like workmen in the library. Actual workmen drive in casual columns up the avenue – oh the Avenue.

I kick the endless drift of leaves, think of it like wading through cornflakes.

leaf kicker 1

leaf kicker 1

leaf kicker 2

leaf kicker 2

leaf kicker 3

leaf kicker 3

Ben Frost tells me this whole area will turn the bright orange of shocking plant biology very soon, and then this place will be even more beautiful. Nothing holds a city together like age tempered with grown trees. Cities also rely on neglected amenities such as these for activities; rowing clubs, walkers and their dogs, the permissible, unavoidable crimes. Where would you prefer the prostitutes and the drugs and the racing circuits? A friend once saw a couple having the sex, lying in the middle of the mile-long night-time avenue. I take my hat off to them.

Those trees roof the length of the avenue, then when the avenue becomes the waterfront, extend in both directions, covering the gravel and walkers and those dogs. Tended grass stretches out from under the trees, down to those old blackened limestone blocks which cap the quay wall, fenced by ancient eroded railing from those old foresightful victorians.

nside

nside

High on Greenwich Park, there is a small stone and railing enclosure, no more than perhaps two metres across. Inside, tussocky grass grows around a small stone which is, apparently, all that remains of a small Roman temple. Another friend says the temple stone cursed him for leaning his bicycle against it, making him crash.

DSC01856 DSC01855

There’s a similar enclosure on a similar hillock on the Marina: being reasonably sure it wasn’t a Lee-side temple, I’d always wondered what it was from the far side of the river. Erected in 1854, it was a 140 ft mast that took 180 years to grow, a gift to the city.

At the very end of the Marina, a similar mound. Sitting on an enormous block, what remains of some old waterbath, surrounded by four small wrought iron pillars. The neck of the waterbath has little lizards on each face, poking their heads out from moulded leaves. In the ruined dish, some fine repeating pattern has disappeared. The pillars and the dish have rusted so that the grain of the iron is visible, and piles of rust accumulate at their feet.

dish

dish

The mound the dish sits upon has been partially removed for a hundred-foot steel pylon, it’s four feet enshrined in smooth concrete and barbed wire.

pylon

pylon

I rub those rusted shards that remain into my palm, and think of tetanus.

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Food fight

August 5, 2009

www.touristpictures.com

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That Stripey Wanker

July 30, 2009

Yakkity wah blah, the internet and general media.

that stripey wanker

Karl Pilkington on animals.

I’ve got to get the full set. I strongly suggest subscribing via itunes or your podcast program of choice.